Embrace the day not the future! That way by the time you get to the future you’ll already have embraced many days. ~ Marnie Hol
Do you praise a child for how smart and talented they are, or do you praise them for their effort and hard work that they put into a task? Big difference!
According to Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck “when you praise kids intelligence and they fail, they think they’re not smart anymore, and they lose interest in their work. In contrast kids praised for effort show no impairment and often are energized in the face of difficulty.”
Therefore, it could be helpful to keep in mind saying compliments such as you’re so talented or you’re so smart hurts our kids more than it helps them. And instead recognize and encourage their effort and hard work which helps them with their confidence and life skills.
During a walk I noticed the word PEACE written on a paper angel attached to a tree fluttering in the wind. It took me several attempts to get the picture of the angel as the wind was strong and the angel was continually moving. While doing this it occurred to me that is just like life, we may set the intention that we want to lead a peaceful life and then life happens and perhaps someone annoys us, or we get an unexpected bill and before we know it, we are spun around and pulled out of our peace.
However, if we could remember to pause before we react, and acknowledge what we are feeling, such as “feeling frustrated” or “feeling angry”, and then take a few slow deep breaths (time to let the angel spin back) and then respond in a way that feels peaceful to oneself and others so that we may lead a more peaceful life and share this serenity with others.
“Peace does not mean an absence of conflicts; differences will always be there. Peace means solving these differences through peaceful means.”
~Dalai Lama XIV
I recently read an interesting article by Ocean Robbins of the Food Revolution Network who answers the question “Is it best to eat your vegetables raw or cooked?”
He mentions 5 foods that might be better when cooked:
· Carrots, celery, and green beans
Bigger Benefits possibly when raw:
· Bell Peppers
To read the full report: https://foodrevolution.org/blog/raw-vs-cooked-vegetables
A good tip is to look forward to red lights when you’re driving. Every time you come to one check your shoulders and see if you can soften them a bit and see how much tension you’re using to grip the steering wheel. Then start humming which automatically causes you to take a longer exhale which relaxes you and enables you to take a deeper inhale bringing more oxygen to every cell in your body. Think of a red light as a healthy reset.
A Monk, Matthieu Ricard, a Philosopher, Alexandre Jollien, and a Psychiatrist, Christophe Andre stayed together for two weeks to share their views and experiences about the “big subjects” of life such as The Ego, Origins of suffering, Guilt and Forgiveness.
It was interesting to read and helpful to see topics with different perspectives.
They include lots of teaching parables. Matthieu tells the story about a man who continually insulted the Buddha until the Buddha finally said to him “If someone gives you a gift and you refuse it, who in the end is the owner of the gift?” A little disconcerted, the man replied that it’s the person who is trying to give the gift. And the Buddha concluded, “Your insults -I don’t accept them, thus they remain yours.”
And they include good practical advice such as creating a CCL (Couldn’t Care Less) file and putting in it all the useless thoughts that pass through your mind from morning to night.
There is wisdom in the book!
First day of school can cause a whole variety of emotions for young kids and teenagers from excitement to nervousness/anxiety. A great/fun resource for parents to help their kids is a website by Reid Wilson, PhD and Lynn Lyons, LICSW - http://www.playingwithanxiety.com
Their book for kids, "Playing with Anxiety" is free to download in PDF and also included is a simple puzzle with strategies.
They are the authors of a couple of books:
- Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous & Independent Children
- Playing with Anxiety: Casey’s Guide for Teens and Kids.
It is very beneficial for kids/teens and parents to understand that anxiety is a normal reaction and that there are many good strategies to deal with worries so that school and growing up is fun!
Two roads diverge in a wood, and I -
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.